Discover Your Fortune!
Aries - The first date would've gone well, if your allergy to bird-watching hadn't kicked in.
Taurus - It’s cold outside, but then, it’s cold inside too. Because you spent the utility bill money on a satchel and it was totally worth it.
Gemini - Your landlord wasn't happy when you brought a cow in the house, so you probably shouldn't tell him it's stuck in the attic.
Cancer - It was a night to remember at the opera. Nobody could figure out how you got on stage, much less, into that tiny leotard.
Leo - Eyes off your phone and pay more attention to life! Specifically, it's your turn to puff puff pass, and you're holding up the circle.
Virgo - The gravity in here is terrible, you'll think, before tumbling head-first into the trampoline with half-roasted blunt in hand.
Libra - The leaf-blower bong was a nice weekend novelty, but you shouldn't have brought it along to ski.
Scorpio - Nobody’s cried so much when they hurled before, but then, nobody’s eaten a party-sized Oreos that fast before.
Sagittarius - The lady watching you at the gym isn't admiring your squats. She's considering calling you an ambulance.
Capricorn - You’re not sure what "gimmicky charisma" your grandmother is talking about, but she sure holds it against you.
Aquarius - As the zombie lunges to sink its jaws into your shoulder, you’ll realize it’s only an trenchcoat hanging on a mopstick.
Pisces - As you snap out of your daze, you'll understand that this one joint is the only thing keeping you from yelling at everyone like Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop.
![(each) PaytonZ [1g], J's](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4Mjc2MCwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--f82803e92c5331762ca91051506cdeda79ef2b86/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/1749238673_4c0b21f4-b9c6-42b7-a23e-9f2a991c7d8a.png "(each) PaytonZ [1g], J's")
![(each) J-41 [1g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4MDIwOCwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--bc1c4ccff4fe710e12d0c7ef7fc37439f5cd0b34/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/a9da13ff-0d61-447c-a77d-3f0830c7364e.png "(each) J-41 [1g]")
![(each) Yum Yum [1g], Dynamite Stix Infused](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTMxNzQ1OSwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--9f067fa86cfbaee77e2c41c3285fab9701551ce1/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/1740705938_32283bcc-a9dd-4d90-a91c-ea515a0c0021.png "(each) Yum Yum [1g], Dynamite Stix Infused")
![(each) Jungle Pie [.7g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4NDQ5MCwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--96e4c0e83db17599f27cf46e21355f3ef5101f70/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--4c2b017c858149e948c71bab98eeffb13053e24c/438918066_1e24b7c0-4804-45ae-9b06-6863af825f68.png "(each) Jungle Pie [.7g]")
![(each) Chem Chillz #17 [.5g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4NjM5MiwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--90f52e4ba5fa4a2dfb7b8b10e2c23f1469208bb5/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGVnIiwicmVzaXplIjoiNDYyIHggMzE1IiwiY29udmVydCI6IndlYnAifSwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ec16dfdba4bfa2885716a685324bbb155d297de3/439230347_image.jpeg "(each) Chem Chillz #17 [.5g]")
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