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The zodiac, demystified.
Aries - The whole world would be awestruck to know you’re wearing an Apple Vision Pro, except maybe the person you’re operating on.
Taurus - It’s not the Star Trek jumpsuits disorienting your colleagues, but that thing where you cut out the fabric to expose your hairy pits.
Gemini - You can’t get high off one hit on a Sprite can just minutes before your sister’s big wedding, but dadgummit, you’re gonna try.
Cancer - You can finally admit it. David Bryne dancing makes you physically nauseous.
Leo - Making out with a flag doesn’t necessarily mean you love that country, even if it did have your baby.
Virgo - Well, lucky you, you’re apparently the only one in a zillion people who gets utterly and unexpectedly chubby on Ozempic.
Libra - As the spaceship floated over the fire hydrant, you were filled with wonder about how they got the water in that hydrant.
Scorpio - As your blind date is pointing out between hurls, not everyone is a fan of your “natural odors.”
Sagittarius - You will begin to develop gills from sitting too long in the inflatable hot tub.
Capricorn - Your best friend may be a giant brain in a tank, but at least there’s no way he can steal your wife and house this time.
Aquarius - The Pantene Pro-V is really making a difference. Too bad you can’t show anyone your four-inch pubes.
Pisces - You almost fooled them, and you would’ve gotten away with egregious estate fraud, if you weren’t trying to sell a cardboard house.
![(2.83g) Carolina Honey (popcorn) | Indica | [2.83g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MzI0NTYxLCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--4bac3b2e5e8ffd68e528c3c1e889568a0c9147f0/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/products_missing_image_cs.png "(2.83g) Carolina Honey (popcorn) | Indica | [2.83g]")
![(2.83g) Appalachian Pharm | Super Dawg OG | Flower | Hybrid | [2.83g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTA3Nzk1LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--7819c5e52179dd49b689fa9efc34dfaa8e338529/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--4c2b017c858149e948c71bab98eeffb13053e24c/flower-stock-6-v1.jpg "(2.83g) Appalachian Pharm | Super Dawg OG | Flower | Hybrid | [2.83g]")
![(0.11g) Blackberry Lemonade Pearl Gummies [1:1:1 THC:CBD:CBN] 2pk 20mg | 1 Day | 946206](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MzI0NDk1LCJwdXIiOiJibG9iX2lkIn19--575e0a7455231949ec2f7ee0be12e0c4eacc0a75/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/products_missing_image_cs.png "(0.11g) Blackberry Lemonade Pearl Gummies [1:1:1 THC:CBD:CBN] 2pk 20mg | 1 Day | 946206")
