Discover Your Fortune!
Aries - You were courageous to embark on the DIY house-painting, but you shouldn't have used water-color.
Taurus - Now that it's warm enough, you can finally talk about how you'd be jogging every day but it's too hot outside.
Gemini - There’s no need to announce you’re going to the restroom, especially not on a mic during the maid of honor’s toast.
Cancer - Though you got poked hard in the eye, a jumbo bandaid is not the solution.
Leo - The terribleness of your breath will become crystal clear when they can't resuscitate the dental hygienist.
Virgo - It might be a greasy old gym sock covered in moldy cheese, but hey, at least it's not Cracker Barrel.
Libra - The universe will send you three tests, at no added cost, after your couture shaving box.
Scorpio - It's safe to say you didn't turn into your parents, but at this rate, looks like you'll be skipping right to your grandparents.
Sagittarius - You have too much pride to ask for help, but as a stoner stuck in the mud in a dinosaur costume, no one wants to anyway.
Capricorn - You'll realize the thing you've been missing your entire life, is thick, thick corduroy; then the mediocrity will kill you.
Aquarius - Your quest to know thyself will end fittingly in a near-direct DNA match with an extinct family of parameciums.
Pisces - Now that you've flushed your phone, you can enjoy the things you used to do the old-fashioned way, like looking for a plumber in a phone book.
![(each) The Soap [0.5g], Live Resin Cartridge](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTMxNzQ2MCwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--fa3bedf0e20b75e26bcc6130623b099311abe418/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/1736180615_6420ad25-fb00-491e-a806-a29273dbfdc1.png "(each) The Soap [0.5g], Live Resin Cartridge")
![(each) PaytonZ [1g], J's](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4Mjc2MCwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--f82803e92c5331762ca91051506cdeda79ef2b86/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJwbmciLCJyZXNpemUiOiI0NjIgeCAzMTUiLCJjb252ZXJ0Ijoid2VicCJ9LCJwdXIiOiJ2YXJpYXRpb24ifX0=--d7c54d32abcb6ca24ad06932a0e70673da4d7d48/1749238673_4c0b21f4-b9c6-42b7-a23e-9f2a991c7d8a.png "(each) PaytonZ [1g], J's")
![(each) Chem Chillz #17 [.5g]](/rails/active_storage/representations/proxy/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6MTM4NjM5MiwicHVyIjoiYmxvYl9pZCJ9fQ==--90f52e4ba5fa4a2dfb7b8b10e2c23f1469208bb5/eyJfcmFpbHMiOnsiZGF0YSI6eyJmb3JtYXQiOiJqcGVnIiwicmVzaXplIjoiNDYyIHggMzE1IiwiY29udmVydCI6IndlYnAifSwicHVyIjoidmFyaWF0aW9uIn19--ec16dfdba4bfa2885716a685324bbb155d297de3/439230347_image.jpeg "(each) Chem Chillz #17 [.5g]")
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